Soft Evidence, October

a collage catch-up like it's 2006

In the words of the tween looking over my shoulder, what is THIS?

A very appropriate question for the year that has been 2025; nonetheless, THIS is just a wee bit of fun. THIS is Soft Evidence.

I don’t know if anyone will believe this about me, but I’m not terrible at painting. I always forget about it until life is life-ing, the words aren’t wording, and I feel an overwhelming urge to check myself into a hospital with only a paintbrush and a sketchpad.

It’s giving mentally unwell, unhinged Van Gogh—I know.

The thing is, because of (or thanks to) GCSE Art, acrylic paint is my jam. But acrylics are messy and take forever to dry—generally a terrible idea in a small house with small boys. More importantly, I don’t actually have any left after the Great Acrylic Destruction of 2015. I’m not naming names, but the cutie-pie tween looking over my shoulder was not always a tween.

I know what you’re thinking. Reb, why don’t you use watercolour paints, a fast-drying, much safer motherhood choice? And honestly, I’ve tried. I’m still trying. But they bore the life out of me.

Pre-paint-destruction, I especially loved painting different pieces and collating them together to tell one big story—probably a product of a noughties girlhood spent obsessing over subscription magazines. Does anyone remember the Angelina Ballerina one? Or maybe you remember when we graduated to Top of the Pops, Shout!, and Sugar. I swear I fact-checked those names.

When I was about to start A levels, a careers advisor in school steered me away from Art as a subject because I already had some coursework-heavy subjects. I needed a few exams in my life, apparently.

For balance, she said.

And we both acknowledged that Art was all-consuming for me. I received an A* grade at the expense of all my other subjects—especially the ones I ‘needed’ to do well in (you don’t need to do well in Art, obvs)—and therefore at the expense of my mental health too.

So, I dropped Art. And I’ve felt its absence ever since.

I’ve also, pretty much, been a mother ever since.

Tell me, what’s a girl supposed to do with that?

I’m realising, at thirty years old, it’s the all-consuming-ness of painting that I actually need.

I can’t buy time and space, but as a starter, I can sell my husband’s unwanted clothes on Vinted to buy new paints (because I’ve run out of my own to sell). In the meantime, Paddy let me loose on his Canva account, and I’ve been having SO MUCH FUN making little magazine features of my life. Because this, I can do sitting outside a classroom or while the curry simmers.

You know, in 13 Going on 30, when Jenna takes the chic minimalist fashion edit and turns it into a 13-year-old’s scrapbook? That’s the vibe. Anytime I’ve thought about sharing here, I always miss the moment or chicken out completely. I kind of missed the moment again (hello, November!), but I think you’ll forgive me. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the untruth that creative things, unless they’re big and beautiful, are a waste of time. And I don’t think the little girl sitting in her bedroom in rural Northern Ireland, messing around with magazines and newsletters on Microsoft Publisher every single day, would stand for that.

So maybe, for now, this is enough. Proof that we’re still here, still making something, even if it’s small. A brushstroke here, a story there. Soft Evidence of a bigger hand at work.

---

October Details & Honourable Mentions

• The Best Fakeaway Ever - we always double the sauce ingredients.

• Long Distance by Aysegül Savas - a book of achingly beautiful short stories where every single one lingered long after the last page.

• Smart Romance by Rena Rani - my new favourite Substack read every week. “But the truth is: romance novels are some of the most emotionally complex, culturally relevant, and narratively sharp books being written today. They deserve real attention. Serious conversation. Literary criticism with heart.”

• Thirst Trap by Grainne O’Hare - this book won’t be for everyone, so tread carefully, but I thought it was brilliantly written. Way better than Sally Rooney.

• While it’s fast becoming a national treasure, I’ve been on the fence about Blue Lights for years, BUT they finally won me over with season 3. The female characters absolutely carry the show and give it an emotional depth it’s never had (except for everyone’s beloved Gerry in S1, of course). Interesting from an apparently all-male writing team.

• North Coast Riders, a stunning documentary following a group of surfers, climbers and free divers chasing “freedom, meaning and wild beauty” on Northern Ireland’s North Coast during winter. Did not expect to get all misty-eyed at parts—the cinematography is intimate and magical. I can’t believe there’s a whole world of stories under this coastline we think we know so well.

I’ll leave you with a link to the brown suede jacket of dreams, worn below with one of my favourite outfits, eating my favourite sorbet, in my favourite place, with my favourite person; but usually worn with leggings and an oversized knit on the school run—which works just lovely, too!

Lots of love,

Reb x